start your message by listening

I was struggling with my approach to a conversation. I didn't know which approach was right for the customer. My information was limited. This is not unusual. The pending conversation was approaching quickly and I expected the customer to be highly analytical and detailed when receiving my message. Along with my presentation I had a couple of solutions I could offer them. I didn't know what they do today. The solution to my problem was hiding in this realization. If I didn't know what their baseline for the conversation was, why not ask them? That's what I did. After brief introductions, I asked them what they do today. A dialog emerged from this that continued throughout the presentation. With just a few minutes of listening to them I was able to tailor the next thirty minutes to the message they needed.

small talk holds big rewards

During my regular 1-on-1 I engaged with my manager on a personal level and inspired her to talk about herself. Most of the scheduled time was used up by that. Even better I didn't get grilled about minutia of my work. It made for a shorter and less stressful call. The relevant work details were covered efficiently and adequately at the end of the call. And my boss probably liked me more because I truly listened to her.

find and address the core concern

During a conversation about my learning plan my boss was expressing concern about how much time I was planning for each module. I sensed her concern about completing all learning prior to customer meetings. Once I identified the core concern, the conversation quickly resolved. My boss just wanted to hear that I was on board with presenting to customers near term. Reminding her of my successful certifications and stating that I was ready to go on customer meetings without my learning plan is all she needed to hear. One concern was more than 80% of the call.

crucial conversations are valuable

During a project I received a bunch of customer questions. During my review I had a general but important impression. A single conversation between the sales rep and the customer would go a long way toward removing a significant amount of work from my entire team. One conversation could eliminate days or even weeks of work and save thousands of dollars. Communication is one of our most valuable tools. Use it well.

tell, tell, tell

Today I’m going to give you a technique for organizing your communication – 3T (Triple Tell) method.

Tell them what you're going to say. Tell them. Tell them what you just told them.

This is a universal communication technique and applying it to any presentation will provide critical structure. The message will be easier to follow and more memorable. This is an incredibly effective and easy tool to improve any speech or presentation.

I just gave you a universal template for communication, the 3T method. Communicate well.

ad-hoc visuals, greater impact

What if you were trying to pitch an idea with marker on whiteboard or pen on napkin? How could you convey a memorable message with a drawing? After drawing a symbol, simply explain it. This will convey the meaning to the audience and give a visual cue by which to remember the concept. Your goal is to convey a concept, not to sell a work of art.

Don't settle for poor communication.

Get in the same room with a collaborator. Information and nuance are exchanged at lightspeed when face to face. The room can be physical, digital, or metaphorical. Don’t limit yourself. Communication is too valuable to needlessly handicap.

notes make effective phone calls

Before a phone call prepare your key points to cover and place them in writing in front of you. If the conversation goes off the rails it will help you bring it back on track. If making calls near a computer (practically mandatory in today’s work environment) you can quickly type those in Word, Notepad, or any text editor. You will likely see an improvement in the quality and efficiency of those conversations.

better relationships through eye contact

Look your kid in the eyes when speaking with her. This simple technique raises the level of connection. It’s especially important when your child is speaking to you. It will greatly amplify the value of the exchange. You can see the appreciation exuded in your child’s eyes and face. Long after the words or ideas are forgotten the emotion and value of that connection will remain.

smalltalk, less = more

A five second joke is just as effective as a one minute joke during small talk and prevents an awkward lapse in attention from the listener. 92% of the laugh comes from 8% of the joke.

Know your why

Frequently people give assignments without explaining the why. Even the military has begun acknowledging the weaknesses of orders given without understanding. When you’re given a task or instructions, ask what it means. What’s the main idea? You might be able to ask yourself this question and come up with the answer. The value in this exercise come from mentally capturing the guiding principles and vision. It will help you understand the purpose for your action, the actions themselves, and give greater insight for improving that performance.

The conversation holds the value

If you’re at a conference or some other event where meals are unstructured, just pick someone to eat with. Adding yourself to a group of two or three is an easy way to borrow some of their pre-existing familiarity to break the ice and can make for easier conversation. You will certainly gain more than a meal. The alternative is eating alone or worse, sitting at a sparsely populated table where nobody talks.

More contact reduces communication friction

I was speaking with someone through a messaging app and the conversation was escalating in complexity. I stopped the chat and took it to the phone. We immediately accelerated the pace of the conversation and increased understanding. Sometimes more contact is less friction in communication. Whether it’s 140 or 160 characters, it lacks the auditory experience that efficiently provides the valuable context.